Choosing a country for surrogacy

When we started in 2022, we did what most people do: we read everything, joined every forum, and built a spreadsheet that grew a new column every week. A year later we had looked seriously at the UK, Cyprus, the USA, Canada, Albania and Argentina — and chose Colombia.

The spreadsheet didn't make the decision. A handful of questions did. This guide sets them out in the order we wish we had asked them, so you can use them to test any destination, including the ones we didn't choose.

If you want our country-by-country view, it's in the comparison table and the international surrogacy overview. This guide is about how to decide, not what to decide.

1. Can you get your child home — legally and predictably?

Start at the end. Every route has to finish with your child living in the UK as your legal child, and that depends on two things:

• The exit route. How does a baby born there get a document to travel to the UK, and how long does that usually take? Ask for the sequence of steps, not reassurance.
• The UK Parental Order. UK law makes the intended parents the legal parents only through a Parental Order from a UK court, whatever the birth country's documents say. The application has a six-month window from the birth. The Parental Order guides on parentalorder.com explain the court side in depth.

A destination where families regularly get stuck — where birth certificates are frozen, or exit documents take many months — is a destination where you might get stuck. Recent history matters more than the brochure. Argentina is the example we watched unfold: a route many families relied on became, almost overnight, one we would strongly advise against.

Ask: "Walk me through what happens from the day of birth to the day we fly home — and tell me about the last family whose return took longer than expected."

2. Is the route open to your family — and will it stay open?

Some countries limit surrogacy to married heterosexual couples, or exclude single parents or same-sex couples. Others are open in practice but without clear protection in law, which makes them more exposed to sudden change.

For same-sex couples and single parents, this question alone removes several destinations. Colombia's inclusive approach — legally, medically and culturally — is one of the reasons it stands out.

Ask: "How many families like ours have you supported in the last 12–24 months, and did any of them face problems because of who they are?"

3. What does the legal framework actually rest on?

There's a difference between surrogacy that is legislated, surrogacy that is established practice supported by courts and precedent, and surrogacy that happens in a grey area. In Colombia, surrogacy is long-established and supported by court decisions rather than a dedicated statute — something every agency should explain to you plainly.

None of these is automatically disqualifying, but you should know which one you're in, and what the realistic risks are.

Ask: "Who represents the surrogate legally, separately from us? Can we see a sample contract before paying anything?"

4. How will the surrogate be treated?

This was never a box-ticking question for us. A good journey is one where the woman carrying your child is properly screened, properly supported, fairly compensated and genuinely free to say no. Countries and agencies differ enormously here.

Look for independent legal advice for the surrogate, clear medical and psychological screening, support during pregnancy (transport, nutrition, check-ups) and a sensible approach to her welfare after the birth. Our guide to your relationship with your surrogate goes further.

Ask: "How are surrogates recruited, and how is their compensation paid and monitored?"

5. Medical standards — and what happens when things don't go to plan

Success rates are only part of it. Ask about embryology standards, how many transfers are typical, which hospital the birth will be in, and whether there is neonatal intensive care on site. Then ask what happens — practically and financially — if there is a complication.

Ask: "What is not covered by the package if there's a premature birth or a NICU stay?"

6. Time — the whole journey, not the headline

Quoted timelines tend to start at the embryo transfer. Your timeline starts the day you begin researching and ends when the Parental Order is granted. For us, Colombia meant roughly a year from our first trip to the birth of our son — see our realistic timeline for how the phases fit together.

Waiting lists for surrogates are the hidden variable. In the UK, the shortage of available surrogates is what makes the domestic route so slow for many families.

7. The full cost — including the parts nobody quotes

Compare total cost, not package price. Flights for several trips, weeks of accommodation, translations, legal steps at home and contingency all add up. Our guide to the costs beyond the agency package lists them.

Be wary of the cheapest option. Very low prices usually mean someone is being under-protected — often the surrogate, sometimes you.

8. Could you live there for a few weeks with a newborn?

This is the question people skip, and it turned out to matter a lot. You may spend anywhere from a few weeks to a few months in the country after the birth, learning to be parents while dealing with paperwork in another language.

Bogotá worked for us: a mild climate, easy and affordable ride-hailing, comfortable apartments and genuinely kind people. We wrote about it in About Colombia. Somewhere that's logistically hard or that you'd feel uneasy in will make an already intense time harder.

Putting it together

Scoring a shortlist against these questions tends to make the answer clearer than any amount of reading. A few practical tips:

• Rank the questions before you research. Decide what's non-negotiable for your family first, so a persuasive sales call doesn't reorder your priorities.
• Talk to parents who travelled in the last two years. Things change quickly; a 2019 success story tells you little about 2026.
• Separate the country from the agency. A good country with the wrong agency is still a hard journey. Our agency selection checklist helps with that second decision.
• Get legal advice on your situation. We share experience, not legal advice — a specialist UK surrogacy solicitor can tell you how the law applies to your family.

If you'd like to talk it through with people who have been there, we're happy to share what we learned — for free, with no obligation.